The Hubs

So, The Hubs frequently comes up with very funny things to say. He doesn’t usually plan these nuggets, they just emerge out of thin air. For example, when I told him I told my first graders that Plastic was going to use an ice cream scoop to take the sick part of my leg out, he replied, “Looks more like he used a melon-baller to me…or that’s an awfully small ice cream scoop!” When applying ointment to the Telfa pad that goes on my donor site, he said, “This stick, I mean swab looks like it’s at the breaking point (he holds it up for me to see), kind of like one of those pencils with the guys on top.” Yes, he was referring to troll pencil toppers.

I’m not sure how he’s handling all this. Sometimes I worry that it will be too much for him. Sometimes I wonder if my cancer is payback for the rough patch he caused in our marriage. Sometimes I worry that he will use my cancer as an excuse to make really bad decisions. But then, out pops another nugget. Like early on, he was the one who pointed out, that I have the “ultimate card.”

“What?” I asked.

“You have the ultimate card! When someone asks you to do something you don’t want to do, you just say, ‘I’m sorry, I can’t, I have cancer,” cue maniacal laugh from The Hubs.

For example, the Friday after my diagnosis, we were arguing over what to have for dinner (keep in mind, he had already put “playing the card” on the table). Pink and her husband were at our house. Pink & I wanted Mexican, the boys wanted Outback. I finally said, “Look, we’re having Mexican. I have cancer.” To which The Hubs and I bust out laughing. Pink & her husband knew I had cancer, but neither knew about the conversation The Hubs and I had had regarding “the card.”

“Oh no you didn’t!” Pink started laughing.

“Oh, gosh, you’re right, I’m sorry, we should do what you want,” her husband stammered, which just caused us to laugh even more.

The following week, prior to my first visit with Plastic, we had received a significant snowfall and I was shoveling the driveway. RetDog was going to take me to my appointment and I didn’t want her to have to struggle with our driveway. The Hubs comes home from work for lunch, jumps out of the car and yells, “What are you doing???”

“Uh, shoveling?” I replied.

“You shouldn’t be shoveling!” he said, incredulous, “You have cancer!”

(Remember at this point, my life is normal other than the diagnosis.)

“Yeah, well tell that to the neighbor with the industrial snow blower across the street,” I said, giggling.

“Seriously, why aren’t you using our snow blower?” he asked.

“Because I couldn’t get it started and this needs to be done,” I replied.

“Well, go inside and rest, you have cancer, I’ll do this later,” he smiled.

Now, I won’t pretend that everything with The Hubs is sunshine and happiness. His way of dealing with cancer is by blasting it away. I can’t tell you how many hours I’ve sat, leg elevated watching him play Call of Duty on-line with his buddy, Dude. Dude’s pseudonym is easily explained:

“Dude! I said follow me!”

“Dude! What are you doing!?!?”

“Aw, Dude, you didn’t kill anyone, I had 13 kills, what’s up with that?”

And so on. So, you see, Dude was an easy one to come up with. Recently, we had this exchange:

“Hey babe, do you mind if I play some video games online with Dude?”

“No, it’s fine,” I say, thinking in my mind that if I say no, then I’m a bitch because he’s been so good at taking care of me.

“Awesome, thanks!”

Three hours later…seriously? How many hours do you have to play this stupid video game??? Even if you wanted to play for three hours, does it have to be three hours a day every day??? And seriously, why is it that everyone is allowed to have fun but me? Cancer is getting very old, very quickly.

Honestly though, in spite of the video games, The Hubs has been, is, amazing.

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1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. The Nurse
    Feb 04, 2011 @ 18:20:26

    yes he is amazing……….this needs to be published!!! can’t wait to read tomorrows blog

    Reply

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