Cancer is Ugly

Ok, I’m a girl. Not so much a “girly” girl, but I love fashion, particularly shoes, makeup, cocktails, Sex and the City, and Gossip Girl. LaBoutin, Manolo, Choo, Kors…ah! I have Project Runway & America’s Next Top Model scheduled on my DVR. I love it!

But, cancer is UGLY! Especially for girls. Guys, I know you have your own issues with cancer related vanity, but seriously? Most of you are going to go bald sooner or later anyway! Girls have to endure a much worse fate!

The typical guy wants a long-haired beauty with big boobs, a nice figure, and killer legs. Well, chemo deletes the hair, breast cancer takes the boobs, and in my case, my leg has a big chunk out of it! I consider myself lucky that I still have my own hair & boobs. However, I’m short and fat. I’m not one of those people with body image issues. My favorite part of my body was my legs. They looked good – especially when I put on a pair of crazy heels! Now, about 3 inches above my left ankle is a hole large enough to accommodate a ping-pong ball. How cute is that? Not that I’ll be able to wear my favorite shoes any time soon. I’m still on crutches and only slightly weight bearing.

Oh, well, you can wear pants. Yes, it is truly convenient that it is not summer time, or prior to the 1940s and I am allowed to wear pants. Great. But what happens when it gets warmer? What happens when I want to show a little leg in a great dress? I teach and warm weather means skirts – and once school is out, shorts and swim suits. Although, I have to consider that I’m not entirely sure how I’m going to feel about being out in the sun this summer. I mean, I’m not sure that my skin cancer is or is not related to sun. I really don’t get that much and I don’t go to a tanning bed. And God forbid, what happens if it comes back and I have to have more removed or add chemo to the mix?

Which leads me to what The Hubs refers to as my pessimistic train of thought: what if this had happened on my face? It’s too horrifying to even think about. I can’t even begin to fathom what others with this disease are dealing with: baldness, loss of breasts, disfigurement, ostomy bags, etc. And I’m sure as supportive as all their friends and families are, most of these people have at some point felt like me – ugly. Not because of what they used to look at in the mirror, but because of what cancer has done to them. It sucks.

So, here’s my solution…Project Runway, you need a cancer challenge. You’ve done the Go Red for Women heart disease challenge. You’ve made over bridesmaid dresses, first wedding dresses for divorcees, and prom dresses for snotty teenagers. Here is what I want: a challenge to make every day cancer patients feel beautiful. Heidi, Tim, I’m waiting for your call!


2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Bren
    Feb 21, 2011 @ 18:45:34

    Sorry about your “spot”. Was it a basal cell? I had a basal cell removed from my forehead. I know have a scar (circular) about the size of a quarter. Let me tell you, I have to refer to it as my “third” eye or I’ll cry because it has left me marked forever. I would trade to have it on my leg anyday. 🙂


    • mandapick
      Feb 21, 2011 @ 18:57:37

      No, it was malignant melanoma. I have a ping pong ball sized hole in my leg now. I’m glad to hear that yours was basal cell and not melanoma.


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