So, I’ve mentioned my naps in enough posts that I thought they deserved their own post.  Before cancer, a nap was a rare and relished occurrence.  Oh, how I longed to have nothing to do so that I could take a few minutes curled up tight in my dark, chilly bedroom (The Hubs has earned the nickname “Eskimo Bat” from some friends because he likes it so chilly & dark in our house).

Since cancer, I cannot avoid them.  It doesn’t matter how much I have to do, what I want to do, or what is already scheduled to be done.

I have (very excitedly and happily) been released to return work if only for half days.  I thought that I would finally get so much done!  I would work for a half-day, come home, do my homework, and start getting this house back in order (The Hubs has taken very good care of me, but not so much on the house!).

Here is what really happens:  I go to work, spend a couple of amazing hours teaching reading and phonics, send my students to lunch, supervise recess, and head home.  Once I get home, I have such good intentions.  I get my homework bag out, place it on the ottoman, get into comfy clothes, and sit down.  Immediately, my energy is zapped, I can barely hold my head up, I yawn like crazy.  I can’t form a complete thought.  So, I hobble back to the coziness of my bed – only intending to take a short (hour or so) nap.  Two, sometimes three, hours later, I can barely drag myself out of bed.  I don’t feel any better.  In fact, as of the day I’m writing this post, I was in bed for my nap at 3:30.  I try to always be up from my nap at 5:00 so The Hubs doesn’t get irritated that I’m sleeping while he’s working – I know this is a ruse and he realizes I’m napping from necessity and he’s not irritated, but I still feel guilty.  At 5:30, it was a complete struggle to get out of the bed.  I feel like I’ve been drinking.  My head is fuzzy, I don’t have the same balance, my leg is sore.  It’s crazy.  What’s even crazier, is that my night sleeping habits have gotten better.  It sometimes takes me a little longer to fall asleep, but once I do, I’m down for the count.  I don’t get up.  AND when I do, it’s almost like the Tylenol PM hangover.

I wonder what’s going to happen when I have to go back to work full-time.  I won’t have time for a nap.  I don’t know how I’m going to get caught up on my Master’s work.  It’s definitely a dilemma.



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