Freak Outs and Melt Downs

So, it’s been a month and a half since surgery. You’d think I’d be used to all this by now, but I’m not. I’m tired of being tired. I’m tired of my house being a disaster area because I only have about 20 minutes of energy in me. I’m tired of freaking out over the healing process and having The Hubs tell me I worry too much. Well, it’s not his leg that has a hole in it.

Six to twelve months, Fruit said. I’m not sure I can handle it. I’m supposed to play softball in a month and a half – 3 months post op. At the rate I’m going, I don’t think that’s going to happen. Take it easy, people say. Let yourself heal. They have no idea. To them, it looks like sitting around doing nothing, only working half days is all kinds of fun and relaxing. It’s not. It’s boring, it’s frustrating, and it’s stressful. I am angry that The Hubs sits and plays video games when there is so much to be done around the house. Then, I feel guilty that I can’t help out around the house like normal.

On top of the self-pity party, a week ago I found out the infection has gotten worse. Now, I have 1000 mg of Cipro a day, as well as a new dressing. I had to miss a friend’s wedding because of it. Like I’ve said a million times, I want my life back. At least the new antibiotic and new dressing seem to be working.


2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Van
    Mar 19, 2011 @ 13:40:40

    To know the road ahead, ask those that are coming back.. German Proverb.

    Wish I could just speak as Jesus did saying:
    “Daughter,” He said to her, “your faith has made you well. Go in peace.” Luke 8:48


  2. Brenda
    Mar 19, 2011 @ 17:38:27

    Hang in there and keep the faith. Keeping you in my prayers!


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